[POEM] Eternally yours

Crush. Debilitating
Rush of blood
To the head, throbbing
Until the world starts to
Heady. Suddenly
Unsteady and
Tumbling, unevenly
Because though I’m not
Infecting. Slicing,
Dissecting me from
My bones. You’re enticing
Me for more. My heart is
Pain. Your love
Strain is asked
For, begged for. Shove
The hurt into me without
Sunk. Prepared
Drunk that I am,
Addicted and bared
Onto you, never stop
This perfect and never ending pain.


[POEM] Blue Milk

It’s odd that one might have a vision of what might be,
When looking into the unknowing beyond.
To think that I had once expected your shape, your taste
And your glances long before I had met you.
I constructed a vessel that would hold my love to be,
Never once had my idiocy truly dawned
Upon me. I simply kept looking for this image with haste.
Convinced every second that my vision was true.

You were a glass of shapes unprecedented. Not just that,
But as I poured, expecting white, pristine milk,
You came out blue. Not unpleasant, not wrong, just
Different. Blue milk from an alien world.
Mild urges to run had to be suppressed, my mind spat
In anger as it struggled to determine your ilk.
You were not the vessel, you were not the want. Lust,
Need and truth was born, and finally unfurled.

Sipping blue milk, I found it not unpleasant.
Sipping blue milk, I found myself hesitant.
Sipping blue milk, and I was in another time.
I knew then, that we had been attached from birth with twine.
Softly floating towards each other, blindly.
You encompassed every single need totally.
You were unlike anything I had ever seen, imagined.

And that was when our love began.


[POEM] You, and you, and you.

You are such a drug. Just you.
Simply the outline and voice and scent of you.
I put my finger on it, and it dissolves into
The mystery that is you.

My heart is such a pit. Dark.
Tumbled into an unending intoxicating spark.
I tremble against it, but I melt into
This love, true and stark.

I could cling to you forever,
And happily feel the ache in my knuckles. Ever
Wishing this sweetest pain into
Me deeper. Leave me, never.

You are brighter than the sun,
Searing into my vision until eyes, closed, run
With tears that melt and twist into
Sight of you. My seeing done.

My galaxy, my swirling eternity,
Never leave me, my coloured universe in entirety.
I pray myself over and over into
Your arms, my precious deity.


[Poem] In so many words

I love you, in so many uncomplicated words
That trail through my mind, flickering and
Indistinct like stars amid an ink sky full of
Spent wonder. Eyes could never truly capture
This beauty, and my soul can only just
Manage to form words that might confess
The wonder of what you truly are.
I bleed all the world’s colours from my chest.
Hollow with wanting and full of love,
Always undulating with joy, loss, sorrow.
Unbearable mirth, continuous warmth
And turmoil of every shade from the milky way.
Each hue feels full and lush. I would be
Nothing without them. Breath pointless.
Words meaningless. Twinkling skies just
Eons of endless, cold wonder that I would
Not want to face. But with you by my side,
Among my tide of pouring colours tumbling
From my emptied chest, I face it bravely.
I face eternity, knowing that just for a
Speck of it, I am yours and you are mine.

And in that knowledge I can breathe.
I am no longer choked by fear.
I feel fear. I feel trepidation.
But I also feel you. The most precious sensation my soul has ever known.



I love him. So much so that sometimes it turns into pain.

There are times when we’re not perfect, but never are we ever fully broken apart. I don’t think we ever could be.

Undramatic, unconditional love that just -is-. It’s so silent and simple. Even when depression built a wall between us and tore me down, he still stood waiting patiently, accepting me for who I am.

I will forever count myself lucky to have experience love, respect and kindness from this man. Lucky to finally see what love should look like.

My anxiety gives me the deepest terror, it tells me I might lose him. Because I once came so close to that. I would change my entire life if I had to, and to be honest I really did make so many changes, just to make sure I could make him happy.

And he was patient, he made his own changes, we both moved forward together. We did everything we could and compromised, so we could keep the promise of love and happiness together.

I miss him always. He is mine as much as my body is mine.


I love you

And though we are only away from each other for a few days, I feel the distance already tearing at my chest.

As if the miles push the pain of your absence deeper into my soul, with their hefty weight.

I will return to you soon. Know that I am missing you with each minute, in beautiful pain for your love.


[POEM] Stepping into Love

One footstep, controlled and measured
Brings me forward for your inspection.
Eyes dart from sharp to eventually pleasured
Gaze. It’s odd, your soul is my reflection.

Looks were all we had at first, and words.
Oh so many words. Tumbling out desperately
Trying to convey how close our worlds
Want to be. We joined together so perfectly.

Head rested on arm, and words quelled
Behind kisses. Breath ran hot. Finally.
I looked into your eyes, and they spelled
Out how fallen love had made me lonely.

I picked your laugh, your smile, every
Gentle and kind detail of you. I chose
To take your darkness, too. The very
Shadows that could strike fear. Yes, those.

Those fearful heartbeats with soundless
Energy that you can’t even communicate
To your shared soul, me. Oh countless
Times you’ve closed off like an iron gate.

But I know you. There is comfort in
Knowing you. Solace in touching even
The parts you hate. And I will sin
With you, forever. Because chosen love is something I believe in.



[POEM] To dream the impossible dream

You seem to forget that you were born of star matter.
That what forged you was pure love, and need.
Yet you live a life where your loves and needs are subdued
By the earthly soil around you, grateful to have a fallen
Star grace its surface after so many millennia of darkness.

You seem to forget that the possibilities may be limited,
But they are endless, too. That the darkness does surround us
And in turn we digest it whole. But your innards are flame,
Flicker only subdued but never, ever, extinguished.
How could they be? You are made of Star Matter.

The world doesn’t see your strength, because you let it lie
Dormant beneath the surface. A mountain that was once
A volcano, accepting sacrifice and passion in its name.
A place where voices rose around you and impregnated
Your very being. But now, they look as if you don’t matter.

You walk mute, letting the disease of mortality touch your
Soul. You breathe in their poison, pushing through the
Infected masses until you forget just how brightly you burn.
But I am made of Star Matter, from eons and eons ago.
And I will not stand to let my heavenly love extinguish.

I will not allow you to fall into this mortal trap, as so many others have. My battle is never ending, and though I too have swallowed darkness, I float atop it.

I love you, my dwindling star, we were tied to each other
From the beginning of eternity. I know your eyes no longer
See beneath these fleshy coils, but mine do. They see beneath
The lies they have clothed you in, as you watched on with
Sad acceptance. I see you. I see you, and beyond that –

I love you.


[POEM] In the simplest ways

I love you.
In the simplest ways.

The way a cat loves to bask in the sun,
And lather itself in bright joy.

The way coffee smells, that is how
I love you, sweet one.

The way my warmest jumper feels slid
Over my naked skin.

The way I curl into comfort is the way
I pour my love into you.

The way a smile talks, its taste on lips,
So ready to emit shine.

The way I hide from the world, it lends
Me to love you deeper.

I love you. Oh in the simplest of ways.
And I will keep loving you, as I find my
Safe spaces within you when my soul quails
From the darkness that hails from sky
And earth, relentless and cruel and nothing
Like your warmth. So soft, and noting
Each of my intricacies intimately. Perfectly.

I love you in the simplest of ways.

And I will simply keep on loving you.